Friday, September 10, 2010

Quarter Life Crisis.

So. It's been a long time since I posted last and a lot has changed. I have changed my mind on what I want to be and am still searching for it. I am no longer interested in going to Dalhousie (as you can see, I'm still on the big T.O. with nothing to do not even a job).

It's hard to find out what one wants to do in life and as I have been catering to what my family and friends wanted of me since I was young, I have realized that what they hoped for me was not what I wanted in life and wouldn't be happy if I continued on the route I was on. Rather than have their dreams come true, I put everything aside on a useless journey of self discovery. Since April I have been searching within myself to find what I enjoy on life or find interesting to turn into a career. I was tired with holding dead end retail jobs so I joined with a temp agency. Although nothing has come of it yet but one three day job, I hope that something will hit my brain like lightening and I will suddenly know which direction to take and finally start my life.

There are a few constant things in my life that I can be thankful for. For one, my other half (Alex) whom I met in November of last year has been a pillar of constant support and love. He encourages me to be myself and to go for my dreams (whatever they may be once I figure it out) and to never give up. The second, my best friend who, like my boyfriend Alex, puts up with my constant crazy and my changing my mind. In a way she is my costuming/crafting mentor and in another she is a role model. Not only has she found what she wants to do in life, she has grabbed it by the horns and is now in Halifax studying costuming. And finally the last is my creativity. It comes in leaps and bounds and there it never seems to dry up. My hands are constantly itching for new projects to try and things to get dirty. These three things have kept me sane the past few months and will keep me going onwards.

I have many dreams and ideas in life on what I wish to accomplish. Many will stay that way. But for others I hope they become a reality.

To open a shop with all my hand made items.
To work in/open a candy shop.
To work with computers either in graphics or IT.
To become a teacher.
To create and sell my work.
To become an actress.
To get my license.
To hold a job with health care.
To get married.
To have kids and dress them up as the justice league for Halloween.
To find a job I am content and satisfied with.

As you can see, I have no idea what path in life I want to take. If being a stay at home mom and running my own business from home was a job where I could have a stable income, I would. I know I'm not cubicle material. I truly consider myself someone who will always be off the beaten path and is a little more... original (crazy, outgoing, quirky?) and wish to find a job that represents me as well. It's unrealistic, I know, but as a dreamer and a crafter, I know it in my soul that I was meant to do something unique with my life.

So, this blog will be a way for me to post crafts and updates from my social life to keep me sane and a way for myself to reflect over my life and where it leads.

-Nessa

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