Yes, it's been a year and a half since I graduated. What do I have to show for it? Fifteen extra pounds and a sleep schedule that rivals Dracula. I admit, I've had my ups and downs in life, but this one sure takes the cake (and I don't even like cake).
I'm in a rut. My boyfriend is off in Alabama working on a construction site so my only tie to the outside world is gone and my best friend is off in Halifax working towards her dream. As I've pined before on this site; what is my dream? It's hard being a twenty-three year old loser living in her dad's house sitting in fuzzy ducky pj's trying to figure out what she's good at in life. So boo-hoo right? I've been sitting here depressed (crying at times) trying to figure out what happened to that care-free, outgoing, fun loving comedian I once was just eighteen months ago. Seriously! What happened?!
The recession. Evil ex-bosses. Crazy overbearing family. Growing up. Graduation. Life. Life happened.
So why am I not currently living it? I've been searching non-stop for a job. Applying relentlessly to the point I'm losing sleep worrying over why I haven't gotten a bite yet. I love the internet craze, don't get me wrong, but when the entire world relies on applying for jobs online it's hard for someone to get your personality off a piece of paper. I miss the good old days when you had to go in person to ask for a job and drop off a resume. Nowadays when you try that, they tell you to go online. When you do that, you don't hear from anyone except for jobs that you are way too under qualified for. I applied for a job which was similar to one I had in the past and they told me I was not qualified for it. It was sorting mail. How under qualified can that be. I got another telling me I was overqualified for it. For answering phones. I don't care if I am over or under qualified for something. I need a purpose in my life other than just sitting in fuzzy ducky pj's blogging about how my life sucks right now.
I'll admit it. I'm an unemployed graduate watching Glee and America's Next Top Model re-runs to occupy myself until my muse comes back.
So I ask you this: if you see my muse, please send it back. I'm starting to feel like how Martha Stewart felt under house arrest.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Ravelry
I have recently joined a crocheting/knitting website and I am so glad I did. The patterns are endless. I have so many ideas on what to make and what to give for Christmas. I'm planning to make my sister a Tardis pillow (hopefully that works out) and my boyfriend's sister a Mario Luma plushie.
The Tardis will be a bit more intense as I would need to modify a pattern and find a pillow... but in theory it seems very doable. I also found a Tardis blanket that I know she'd love but it will have to wait until her birthday because that thing is MENTAL! and I would need to find the correct blue to make it.
As for boyfriend, I don't know yet. His birthday is coming up and he wants me to buy him his tattoo... but he says depending on the price he doesn't want me to spend too much... so perhaps a pair of NIN wrist cuffs. If all goes great with my sisters pillow, I may make him a Torchwood one. But I'm still working things out.
Now to think of things for boy's Momma, boy's father, boy's brother, my momma, momma's boyfriend, step sister (a cowl maybe?) and step mom. Oh and BFF (can't write anything here... she actually reads my blog). Dad won't like anything I get/make him anyway... so that one's going to be tough.
Right now I need to shower (got a temp job and start in two days) and finish spa treatment. Need to start my nails (painting them before bed) and then start the plushie. Need to start now before I run out of time!
-N
The Tardis will be a bit more intense as I would need to modify a pattern and find a pillow... but in theory it seems very doable. I also found a Tardis blanket that I know she'd love but it will have to wait until her birthday because that thing is MENTAL! and I would need to find the correct blue to make it.
As for boyfriend, I don't know yet. His birthday is coming up and he wants me to buy him his tattoo... but he says depending on the price he doesn't want me to spend too much... so perhaps a pair of NIN wrist cuffs. If all goes great with my sisters pillow, I may make him a Torchwood one. But I'm still working things out.
Now to think of things for boy's Momma, boy's father, boy's brother, my momma, momma's boyfriend, step sister (a cowl maybe?) and step mom. Oh and BFF (can't write anything here... she actually reads my blog). Dad won't like anything I get/make him anyway... so that one's going to be tough.
Right now I need to shower (got a temp job and start in two days) and finish spa treatment. Need to start my nails (painting them before bed) and then start the plushie. Need to start now before I run out of time!
-N
Sunday, September 12, 2010
It's that time of year again...
Yes, it's that time of year again. I don't know what it is about September that suddenly makes me want to redecorate, but when the beginning of September rolls around I have to change something in my room. Perhaps it's due to my living in residence and I decorated my room for the start of the school year... or perhaps it's just Fall. Who knows!
Last year it was the need to paint (which was postponed until July since my dad refused to allow me to paint my walls green so I convinced him on a sky blue) where as this year it's putting up photos.
I love Ireland. So I used an old calendar of scenic Ireland my mom got me for Chirstmas a few years ago and I got twelve cheap glass photo frames and went to work. I did this for my final year in University and it took this long to finally say: "That's it! They're going up!".
And so they are.
They are just above my bed and my step mom are afraid they will come crashing down on me while I sleep. I demonstrated by kicking and punching the wall (much to the disdain to my shared wall neighbours) that they may rattle but wont fall... and if they do then they will fall down between the bed and the wall and not hurt me.
Today was productive. It was my dad's birthday and boy came over for lunch. Then we chilled for a few hours watching the Back to the Future marathon and a bit of Criminal Minds (I passed out for an hour and can't remember what the episode was).Now Dad is downstairs chilling, boy is back home taking care of his sick brother, my sister is back at my Moms and I'm here working on some crochet projects.
All in all, it is that time of year.
-Nessa
Last year it was the need to paint (which was postponed until July since my dad refused to allow me to paint my walls green so I convinced him on a sky blue) where as this year it's putting up photos.
I love Ireland. So I used an old calendar of scenic Ireland my mom got me for Chirstmas a few years ago and I got twelve cheap glass photo frames and went to work. I did this for my final year in University and it took this long to finally say: "That's it! They're going up!".
And so they are.
They are just above my bed and my step mom are afraid they will come crashing down on me while I sleep. I demonstrated by kicking and punching the wall (much to the disdain to my shared wall neighbours) that they may rattle but wont fall... and if they do then they will fall down between the bed and the wall and not hurt me.
Today was productive. It was my dad's birthday and boy came over for lunch. Then we chilled for a few hours watching the Back to the Future marathon and a bit of Criminal Minds (I passed out for an hour and can't remember what the episode was).Now Dad is downstairs chilling, boy is back home taking care of his sick brother, my sister is back at my Moms and I'm here working on some crochet projects.
All in all, it is that time of year.
-Nessa
Friday, September 10, 2010
Follow Friday
These are some of the blogs I follow for inspiration and creativity. Please check out some of their work!
Crazy About Costumes - My best friend's cosplay/costume blog. Tips on how to make costumes on a budget!
Etsy Labs - Tips on making your Etsy shop successful as well as craft tutorials!
Planet June - A fellow crocheter. She has some amazing and adorable designs!
That's the one's I follow almost daily. I'll be searching for new blogs and craft ideas soon!
-Nessa
Crazy About Costumes - My best friend's cosplay/costume blog. Tips on how to make costumes on a budget!
Etsy Labs - Tips on making your Etsy shop successful as well as craft tutorials!
Planet June - A fellow crocheter. She has some amazing and adorable designs!
That's the one's I follow almost daily. I'll be searching for new blogs and craft ideas soon!
-Nessa
Quarter Life Crisis.
So. It's been a long time since I posted last and a lot has changed. I have changed my mind on what I want to be and am still searching for it. I am no longer interested in going to Dalhousie (as you can see, I'm still on the big T.O. with nothing to do not even a job).
It's hard to find out what one wants to do in life and as I have been catering to what my family and friends wanted of me since I was young, I have realized that what they hoped for me was not what I wanted in life and wouldn't be happy if I continued on the route I was on. Rather than have their dreams come true, I put everything aside on a useless journey of self discovery. Since April I have been searching within myself to find what I enjoy on life or find interesting to turn into a career. I was tired with holding dead end retail jobs so I joined with a temp agency. Although nothing has come of it yet but one three day job, I hope that something will hit my brain like lightening and I will suddenly know which direction to take and finally start my life.
There are a few constant things in my life that I can be thankful for. For one, my other half (Alex) whom I met in November of last year has been a pillar of constant support and love. He encourages me to be myself and to go for my dreams (whatever they may be once I figure it out) and to never give up. The second, my best friend who, like my boyfriend Alex, puts up with my constant crazy and my changing my mind. In a way she is my costuming/crafting mentor and in another she is a role model. Not only has she found what she wants to do in life, she has grabbed it by the horns and is now in Halifax studying costuming. And finally the last is my creativity. It comes in leaps and bounds and there it never seems to dry up. My hands are constantly itching for new projects to try and things to get dirty. These three things have kept me sane the past few months and will keep me going onwards.
I have many dreams and ideas in life on what I wish to accomplish. Many will stay that way. But for others I hope they become a reality.
To open a shop with all my hand made items.
To work in/open a candy shop.
To work with computers either in graphics or IT.
To become a teacher.
To create and sell my work.
To become an actress.
To get my license.
To hold a job with health care.
To get married.
To have kids and dress them up as the justice league for Halloween.
To find a job I am content and satisfied with.
As you can see, I have no idea what path in life I want to take. If being a stay at home mom and running my own business from home was a job where I could have a stable income, I would. I know I'm not cubicle material. I truly consider myself someone who will always be off the beaten path and is a little more... original (crazy, outgoing, quirky?) and wish to find a job that represents me as well. It's unrealistic, I know, but as a dreamer and a crafter, I know it in my soul that I was meant to do something unique with my life.
So, this blog will be a way for me to post crafts and updates from my social life to keep me sane and a way for myself to reflect over my life and where it leads.
-Nessa
It's hard to find out what one wants to do in life and as I have been catering to what my family and friends wanted of me since I was young, I have realized that what they hoped for me was not what I wanted in life and wouldn't be happy if I continued on the route I was on. Rather than have their dreams come true, I put everything aside on a useless journey of self discovery. Since April I have been searching within myself to find what I enjoy on life or find interesting to turn into a career. I was tired with holding dead end retail jobs so I joined with a temp agency. Although nothing has come of it yet but one three day job, I hope that something will hit my brain like lightening and I will suddenly know which direction to take and finally start my life.
There are a few constant things in my life that I can be thankful for. For one, my other half (Alex) whom I met in November of last year has been a pillar of constant support and love. He encourages me to be myself and to go for my dreams (whatever they may be once I figure it out) and to never give up. The second, my best friend who, like my boyfriend Alex, puts up with my constant crazy and my changing my mind. In a way she is my costuming/crafting mentor and in another she is a role model. Not only has she found what she wants to do in life, she has grabbed it by the horns and is now in Halifax studying costuming. And finally the last is my creativity. It comes in leaps and bounds and there it never seems to dry up. My hands are constantly itching for new projects to try and things to get dirty. These three things have kept me sane the past few months and will keep me going onwards.
I have many dreams and ideas in life on what I wish to accomplish. Many will stay that way. But for others I hope they become a reality.
To open a shop with all my hand made items.
To work in/open a candy shop.
To work with computers either in graphics or IT.
To become a teacher.
To create and sell my work.
To become an actress.
To get my license.
To hold a job with health care.
To get married.
To have kids and dress them up as the justice league for Halloween.
To find a job I am content and satisfied with.
As you can see, I have no idea what path in life I want to take. If being a stay at home mom and running my own business from home was a job where I could have a stable income, I would. I know I'm not cubicle material. I truly consider myself someone who will always be off the beaten path and is a little more... original (crazy, outgoing, quirky?) and wish to find a job that represents me as well. It's unrealistic, I know, but as a dreamer and a crafter, I know it in my soul that I was meant to do something unique with my life.
So, this blog will be a way for me to post crafts and updates from my social life to keep me sane and a way for myself to reflect over my life and where it leads.
-Nessa
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